Hunter's Bow

I'm going to say something unpopular today, so take a deep breath and just take it for what it's worth. Read it again: please remain calm while reading this article. It's only an idea.

I am speaking today to men who have wives who work outside the home.

If you are married and have children then you have a right. The right to the hunter's bow.

Your wife should quit her job immediately to stay home, no matter how bad the financial situation. Then, she should look at you expectantly to pay all those bills. "Go forth, husband, and bring home meat for the tribe!" she should say.

The reason is the fabric of the universe. It is the man's primal, spiritual heritage to provide for his family. If you take up the hunter's bow in your hand and head out into the wilderness to find meat, God and the Universe will smile on you. You will find that your abilities and opportunities will multiply to meet the challenge. Your arm will be strengthened.

Now, I don't mean to offend. If you're doing it another way I don't personally condemn that. God bless America, home to "the people who do it the way they want". It also doesn't mean that the woman can't be productive and bring in money while at home. I suggest only that there is another way to look at it.

I can also personally attest to how this works. When I graduated college Tamie was huge and waddling pregnant with K. She stopped me as I got off the podium with my diploma. "Shawn, I made an investment in you and now I expect to get my payoff." and she told me she would be leaving the workforce for good when the baby was born. That did something to me. I did crazy difficult stuff to get a job and pay the bills.

Tamie has almost always found a way to bring money in, on and off, but without leaving the house. And she has worked her butt off to keep the house in good order. She is the heart of the home.

The hunter's bow hangs on the wall, ready to be taken up.

Shawn says: this is bound to get testy. Here's the first comment.

George says:

But Shawn?
How about all those ladies that work at your company? How do they react to your "hunter's bow" idea?

Shawn replies:
Yup, that post was bound to offend, it's a hot button. But I had to stay true and put it out there.

To answer your question: most (possibly all) work at home or during school hours only/mostly. That's their decision, I don't force it.

If you read carefully, I am not condemning that situation in the article (two working parents), only saying that there is something positive available as a possible alternative. The article was not condemning working moms but beating an ancient drum to the heart of the working father.

Single moms are an exception. Deadbeat dad has run off leaving her to take up the bow. The children have lost both father and mother in a way.

I can talk. My wife did this to me. She informed me that I would be the sole breadwinner and then proceeded to give notice at her job. Up until that time I was hobbling along, relying on student loans and my working wife to give me a life of Starcraft, Magic and D&D. Not a complete deadbeat, but not really taking up the Bow either. Of course, I didn't have any kids either.

When K. was born eleven years ago I was just weeks out of college and living in a trailer in her mother's driveway (Oregon). I was looking for work high and low. I ended up taking a rental car down to the San Francisco Bay area (California) to get a job as an elementary school teacher. The maze of freeways and buildings was like a concrete forest. That was my cosmic "hunter's bow" adventure. I believe that opportunity, that dreadful and bone-crushing opportunity, wouldn't have opened up to me if my wife had not forced me to take up the Bow.

I had to get up at 4:30am every morning for an hour commute. I found the strength every time I looked into the face of my baby girl. Every time I came home to my warm and loving wife.

Professionally, I had opportunities open up. When I was looking for work in Oregon I opened the classifieds one day and decided to look for the top-paying job advertised. I tried to get that job with all my might, but failed pitifully. I remembered that number. Within three years at the school that's how much I was making. Of course, I was working long hours, effectively multiple jobs at the same school (I ran an after school program and did HR for two schools). And I was in California where the cost of living mostly canceled out the extra money.

Also, note that my wife never wanted to work outside the home. It was her dream to be a stay-at-home mom.

It's not for everyone, but there it is.



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