Feelings of Futility

I'm not having them, but I thought you might.

Here's a talk that has special meaning for me:

“Joseph,” [my mother] said, “come what may, and love it.”

I have often reflected on that counsel.

I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.

... The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness.

Here are my personal feelings on it.

Men don't deal well with futility. We can handle a Mountain if we can see how to climb it. But we don't deal well with a Steel Wall. That's why we freak out when the baby is crying. If the baby needed a rare herb only to be found in piranha-infested waters we could figure that one out. But not when the baby is crying for no apparent reason and nothing seems to work.
I remember one time I was sitting alone in the back of church and the pulpit seemed a million miles away. My life was out of sync. I had completely failed, at the religion that meant so much to me. I ran out into the parking lot and locked myself in my car and shed bitter, bitter tears.
I studied hard but still got an "F".
I planned on quitting.
That night I had a dream. I went into the Bishop's office to have my name removed from the Records, as I planned in real life. And to give up. As I turned to leave I heard a soft voice. "Please don't leave." I turned and saw the Savior, arms outstretched, kneeling. "Please don't leave".
I say without reservation that there is an Almighty God. And that he indeed is mindful when a Sparrow falls to the ground. And how much more valuable are you than a Sparrow.
I judge myself ever so harshly. Perhaps the injunction to not judge applies to one's self as well. I don't even know myself well enough to give a proper analysis.
It reminds me of John 3:
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
Read that again. Who does the condemning?
To meet God face to face will be very natural and comfortable. Your soul has His DNA imprinted on it. This is what it means to be in the image of God. You are a child of the Almighty, who cradled you in His arms.
What is presented to us in this life through common media is a distorted caricature, and who would even believe in that?
I don't think that Heaven is a gated community. The gate is in the human heart.
The human eye is a waxy orb. It is crude and barely useful to get food into the mouth. Crude by comparison. Same for the brain. It's a marvel, but leaden by comparison. Using these organs is like looking through a straw. The spirit body also has sensory organs. They can become connected to a universal skien (web?).
Hmmm... I think I'd have to be up all night writing about this. What I really wanted is to give a word of encouragement and light.



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